Relationships

No matter what people say, for the most part relationships can be difficult. In order to make it work, you have to work at it constantly. I like to think of a relationship as a flower garden, it has to be watered, weeded, fertilized, pruned and if this is done on a regular basis, then you will be rewarded with the most beautiful flowers ever seen. If allowed to become overgrown with weeds and not watered, then it will dry up and die of starvation.
Couples need to remember that it takes two to make it work, one can't do it by themselves for very long. If left unattended the love will turn into resentment and that will allow for disgust followed by hate to take its' place.
We need to remember to never take our love one for granted, appreciation goes along way in a relationship. The more someone shows their appreciation for the big or little things, the more they will receive those things.
There are relationships out there that I don't quite understand. The woman works everyday and the man stays home. She supports him, he treats her like crap and yet when she's asked why she don't leave, she says "Because I love him." I have to wonder what kind of childhood this woman had that she's willing to accept any kind of behavior from a man because she's afraid that that's all she is worthy of. It's sad but there are lot of people out there that have to be in total control. In order to do this, they gain the other's trust, then once they get it, the mental abuse begins. First it's subtle like minor jealousy over someone looking at their guy/gal, then it moves on to calling them names and reminding them that they wouldn't be anything if the man/gal hadn't came into their lives. They are told that they're stupid, worthless, fat and that no one else would ever want them. In some relationships physical abuse is used to remind them who the boss of the household is. I know that physical abuse is horrible, but mental abuse goes a lot deeper and harder to recover from. I should know, I was a victim of mental abuse. I still have times that I do something and then get scared that I'm going to get into trouble for what I did. I've been single for eight years and the mental abuse still haunts me.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching to why I can't seem to hold onto someone after they show an interest in me and I've come to the conclusion that it's because of this abuse that I'm scared to get too close to anyone or let them get too close to me so that I won't fall into that trap of abuse again. I'm trying to work on that, telling myself that not everyone is controlling and that I need to learn to trust again. I want to trust again, I want that someone special in my life again, but I know it's going to take time. The only thing I know to do at this point is take the time to get to know them before rushing into anything. No matter how lonely I get, I've got to be patient.

My only wish is that if someone reads this and sees themselves in this type of situation, that they take the necessary steps to get out. Remember that there is always hope and that you deserve better. If you have children, that is more of a reason to get out, so that you can be there for your children. You owe it to them to make sure that they are safe and will have a mom/dad to come home to.